Dear friends who are widows/widowers,
Valentine’s Day is today and cupid’s arrow can enter your heart in a very different way than it does for other singles. No matter the length of time, a day that once was filled with memories of hearts, kisses and cuddles has turned into a day of sorrow.
I have such a tender spot in my heart for widowers and widows. Please try not to be sad, but instead celebrate the fact that you can say “I’ve loved and I’ve been loved.” What a blessing! Cherish that and celebrate all the precious memories.
- Treat yourself or take a friend to dinner. If you’re not feeling social, order take out, practice a favorite hobby, and even allow yourself some time to cry.
- If your spouse used to bake/cook ask a friend to help or take on the adventure of making it yourself. Think back on the things they liked to do and practice one of those activities – or try the one you never wanted to do. Honor their memory and stay busy!!!
- Have friends over. Have everyone bring snacks and play board or card games.
- Send a special note to someone, maybe a coworker or church friend that you don’t talk to much. Someone that you may sense needs a friend. Helping others gives you strength.
- Recognize and appreciate all the relationships God has placed in your life. Surprise your kids or a friend friend with a card and a small gift. Get a sappy card so you can cry together. Let them know that they matter in your life.
- Count your blessings – seriously. Take the time to think about the blessings God has given you.
- AND FINALLY… Don’t forget your life is still filled with love and purpose. Whether or not a spouse is part of that in the future, let God chose. What you want may not be what you need. What God gives you will be good and perfect. Trust Him!
Dear friends who are divorced,
Valentine’s Day – bah humbug, right?! Listen, I know rejection is hard. Whether someone walks away from you or you had to make the choice to leave, you still feel abandoned. Many times, those who are able to walk away were not intended to be in your next chapter. If a relationship ended because of a mistake you made, remember your life still has a purpose and that God is still in control – He is still writing your story. Put your pencil down and allow God to write the next chapter.
“Don’t seek for love, first search your heart and find the walls that you have built up around your heart that keeps you from being open to love.”
10 people were asked to write a note to themselves. The responses were so beautiful. Enjoy!
- “You’ve been through a lot and you’re still standing. Good for you. That said, don’t be so hard on yourself. Crying is OK once in a while. Just don’t wallow in it. You have things to do, and this won’t last forever. You are brave.“
- “Love comes in all forms; it’s all around you. Just cherish the moments for what they are.”
- “Don’t make the same mistake twice. That breakup was a lucky escape.”
- “Love yourself for overcoming numerous tragedies and obstacles and coming out the other side stronger and happier.”
- “Valentine’s Day is only one day of the year. Focus on loving yourself today. Love will happen again.”
- “Dear me: Remember what Winston Churchill said: If you’re going through trials, keep going.”
- “Love yourself every day, be yourself everyday. Going forward, be authentic, vulnerable, imperfect, and always live your life to the fullest.”
- “Don’t worry about getting old by yourself, you’ve got me!”
- “Remember what Shakespeare said: ‘Self-love is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.’”
- “Don’t be discouraged. The best is yet to come. You’ve made the right decision, and you’re going to be blessed for it. God loves you more than anyone ever could. You are loved. Don’t ever forget it.”
NOW GO CELEBRATE!! Grab a friend, get dressed up and eat at your favorite restaurant! Celebrate that God is in control and He has something huge for you… be wise, don’t settle out of loneliness and be patient.
Dear friends who are single (for whatever reason),
I know holidays are hard. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Christmas can make some joyful and others sorrowful. Same goes for Valentine’s Day.
For all singles especially those that have not yet experienced love, I want you to know that I love you but what’s even greater than that is the fact that God loves you. You matter!! You’re not invisible. You’re not less. Your heart may ache to a different tune than the widower or the divorced but please remember that you’re precious to God. He has saved you for something greater. You are loved by the Master.
“Your relationship status doesn’t define you; it merely defines your season.”
It can be hard to remember sometimes that you are not alone. I know you may really want to love someone and have them love you in return. Remember that love is an action, not a feeling.
Speak in faith and start doing things now to actively love and serve your future spouse even if you have not yet met him/her. Intentionally and selflessly do things to make a better now for you and your future mate.
- Get healthy – I personally gained 40 pounds from not eating well and not exercising. I subconsciously didn’t want anyone close so I stopped working on me. During the last two years, the process of healing from a broken engagement has been rough but it’s all about letting God heal you and becoming a whole person – a healthy person – and bouncing back. You MUST take care of yourself. It takes time but don’t wait – just do it! It’s liberating.
- Become who you want to attract. Be the person who the one you’re looking for is looking for.
- If you are interested in marriage, PRAY for your future spouse. (You should already be doing this everyday already.) Pray that 1) God will heal his/her heart, 2) God will prepare them for you and you for them, 3) he/she is growing deeper in God everyday, 4) he/she doesn’t get sidetracked or distracted on his/her journey to you, and 5) he/she accepts his/her calling.
- Work on your finances. Be sure you’re ready to walk through that door if/when God decides to open it.
- Work on you! Decide to spend some time making yourself into the best possible person you can be.
Just remember …
Whatever season of life you may find yourself in today, I hope this Valentine’s Day letter reminds you to celebrate love in all its forms. And if you can’t think of anything else to celebrate, celebrate the fact that you have a Savior who loved you so dearly that He sacrificed everything to rescue you. The thought of being apart from you affected Him so deeply that He traded the splendors of heaven to save you from sin – the thing that would keep you from being able to spend forever with Him. Celebrate the fact that He went away to prepare a home for you – a place where you could spend eternity in the splendor of His love.
There’s always something to celebrate – find that something today.